hey hey .
finally can blog le .
Yeah .
This few days blogger have been giving me lots of trouble .
Finally .
Went clubbin last wed .
Went cyclin ytd .
KAka !!
Super fun and exhausting .
Keke .
Means extra calories burn .
I'm not vain.
I'm health consious .
Ya .
I noe . LIKE REAL .
Haha .
Juz acting la .
But reali happy ,
cuz i spent more than 12 hrs wit wy .
Anyway wy , thks alot for ur breakfast and last nite mac .
All my bloody ass emo gone away when i was wit my babes.
But then it doesn't reali went off all la .
Emo takes time to heal .
I juz hope i got fast antidote .
Sometimes i wish i'm wy ,
she pretty , sexy , blur , funny , smart , rich , nice , cant be bother .
Unlike me , fat , ugly , not funny , loud , too smart , poor , bother too much .
Wth .
I feel rather inferior bout my looks and size .
I juz hope when i walk pass ppl wun even see me .
I juz hate myself for who i'm .
I love my bf alot alot .
I can say i feel in love wit him.
But i noe theres no future .
Plus we couldn't reali get along .
And his not wrkin hard enough .
It's tough to leave him .
I tryin my veri best not to think off him .
It aint easy .
I juz wish to get reali busy ,
so tt i wun remember him .
I wun shed a tear for him .
I noe i'm in pain .
But i nv dare to yell .
I nv struggle .
I would juz sit at the corner and act as if nthin happens .
I noe i've noe discpline ,
i noe i own poon alot of money .
I feel reali embarrassed bout tt .
But i dun understand y cant i bring myself to go and get a job .
Or y can i at least prolong my wrk .
Y i always end up losin my job .
I ask myself y .
To tell u the truth ,
till today i nv get an ans .
I noe i'm not lazy ,
cuz during wrk ,
i believe i wrk the hardest .
But i'm not able to get up and take bus to wrk .
Y ??
I feelin so stress up .
My self -esteem ..
Wher ar u ??
Its gone .
I use to think tt gettin a job is freakin easy .
But now i realise its not .
I couldn't get any .
And i'm too embarrassed to go for any interview .
I feel reali ps .
I have no idea .
I dun own them anything or wat.
But i juz have no idea .
I have said so much bout myself .
I have think so much for myself .
But its still the me .
I've nv change .
I muz change .
I muz tell myself i can do it .
I muz make the first move .
Once i step out of the box ,
is sunshine .
Seriously i feel reali inferior bout my education .
I regretted bout my chilish past .
I noe its too late .
I wish to get a o level .
I wanna make it big one day being the gobal chef .
But y izzit tt my dreams often feels so far .
I'm too tired .
FOrget bout all this .
I brought it upon myself la .
Mummy always says tt..
She nv encourage me .
Y
Leen .