WRk- super stress ..

Gotta learn alot of things ..

Need to do shipment and etc.

Super difficult job ,

endless jobs .

WAt to do ..

Too bad i suay .

I'm in ALice team .

Gotta do .

For the air-con and money .

Gotta endure .

Life -

Still okie .

Juz tt at home no one ,

wans to talk to me .

But nvm i've no time to talk to anyone.

My life is bout , wrk , eat , slp .

So ya .

VEri busy .

No time .

Anyway i'm shifting to poon house soon .

SO .. ya .

Dun call my house to look for me anymore .

Thks .

Leen .
7:50 PM

First day of wrk ..

Not bad veri fun ,

can sit my rockin chair .

Rock and rock .

But hopefully i wun fall off ..

or the chair wun break .

Type , copy , type , copy .

Tt's all .

Nthin else .

Super boring .

BUt time past veri fast .

But eyes veri tired .

Wait my degree become 1000 how ??

Hmm .

Ytd went s.t chalet .

Oki la , though little ppl .

At least need not have to face ppls tt i nv reali like .

I'm too lazy to upload pics .

Though tts some pic taken .

Super sian .

Come home onli ,

ppl give me those kind of face.

I dun think i deserve .

wtf .

Forget it .

I shall go and slp .

ZZZzzz..

Wy wher ar u ??

stop mia la .

Leen .
9:47 PM

I duno y blogger juz cant load pic .

So sorry .

I wanted to load pics for u guys to see la .

But too bad cant load .

Damn it sian la .

Both of us ,

were gettin along great la .

We like the company of each other .

But too bad ,

one in common things we noe .

Love will nv wrk out .

So we rather be close .

Than be together .

Sounds gd ,

seems gd .

The bad thing is ,

u cant get him whole heartly la .

But at least is some kinda no string attached thingy la .

No burden ,

not tied up .

I can leave and go anytime .

No one will get hurt .

No tears , no emo .

Mayb its a gd thing .

I wanna nap .

Eaten and feel reali bad after eating .

Wth .

Wy has been mia for 2 days .

Pls be back .

I need ya ears .

Leen .
1:42 PM

hmm .. Sad .

I hate to be unwell la .

Damn it emo and watever fuck la .

Super sickening .

Someone wans to join my life .

Fuck it la .

I'm not rude .

I'm nice , tts y i told u to leave la .

I'm not any easy one to pls .

I"m the worst gf on earth .

I'm the daughter-in-law ur mummy nv wan .

Watever .

I feel like love is in the air ,

but i rejected all .

I merely accepted one .

But dun worry,

cuz i doubt things gonna wrk out between me and him la .

I'm damn depressed la .

I hope bull will leave my wrld la .

I can't help not lovin him .

The moment he contact me i couldn't take it la .

But i noe i musn't love him .

I'm strugglin damn hard la .

Wtf .

I damn it hate the wrld .

I feel as though i'm cryin everyday .

And i reali felt like cryin la .

I think i got depression la .

LAst nite i dream tt i got drunk .

Wat a lame ass dream la .

Gotta go out la .

I wish his mine la .

Hopefully his the "one" .

Leen .
1:55 PM

Went to poon's class chalet ytd .

The whole chalet was like full of nurses .

I'm the onli patient la .

haha .. i'm a lucky and important patient wit so many ppl taking care la .

The chalet was fun la .

I prepared all the food ,

then cooked the food .

Listen to hospital stories ,

watchin someone O-ing .

But was fun la .

Though the weather was bad ,

but our mood wasnt spoil by it .

Lolx .

Finally after soo long ,

me and poon played in the rain .

Shiok .

I was reali smelly la .

I ran in the rain , sweat , bbq .

Gosh , smelly like hell .

I nv allow anyone to stand near me ,

though they didnt mind la .

But i mind ,

i dun wan ppl to smell me smelly la .

SO irriating .

Shower le ,

then chat , gossip .

Then super tired la ,

so its like 8 of us squeeze on the bed .

DAmn funny la ,

cuz havinda , was like super big size ,

then i'm big .

Plus wit poon and wy .

The bed was reali heavy la .

We were sayin imagine if we were to move then the bed collaspe how .

Lolx .

Everyone was like so addicted to mahjong .

They played like through out the nite .

Lolx .

I slp like through out the nite ,

erm should say i move ard the whole nite .

Cant reali slp .

I feelin so sick now .

Gotta rest .

SOme bad things did happen la .

But i doubt anyone would noe la .

Gotta slp .

Damn tired .

Nitex .

Leen .
10:29 PM

Monday was pretty fuck up la .

Woke up early , browse through the newspaper .

Ate breakfast , called up for jobs .

Then meet poon .

When over for all those damn it job interviews .

Somehow in someway kena tua by ppl la .

Dun wish to mention bout it .

But at least a happy ending day la .

When over to pp ,

ate fish and co .

Extremely full .

Then meet wy ,

she damn ass la .

Watch bloody youtube then forget frens .

Once again la ,

we 3 meet up and do some bloody ass crap thingy la .

Walk ard , dorthy perkins , novo and topshop .

Crap la .

Laugh all the way .

Can't help but love makin fun of each other .

But no matter wat we won get angry ,

yet we love each other more .

Then went over to watson ,

bought condoms for s.t birthday .

Haha , walked over to mini toons .

Poon bought present for alan !!

So sweet .

Haha . she bought me peach gummies too .

Yeah thx babe .

Initially wanted to go over to poon house but too tired le .

So instead took a cabby home .

Today , company poon go over to vel house to get her hair done .

Though we spent veri long hrs ther to company her get her done .

We ar not pek chek at all , unlike in saloon .

Haha . Cuz we get to watch over fav. show .

Eat , sit everywher , walk ard and gossip .

Finally poon hair done ,

went over to her house and eat .

All of us can' t take it .

Too tired le .

Oh ya , anyway got sponsor for cab .

haha .. by who ??

I'm simply have no idea .

Heard tt is a ah pek !!

Anyway got home .

Damn tired la .

Still bloggin at this hrs .

I wanna ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz .

I'm a pig .

I make jong feel gulity .

I dun care .

I'm heartless .

Leen .
11:41 PM

I was so bad last nite ,

i was suppose to go out wit ah poon .

But yet , i fall aslp .

Ah poon reali sorry .

I wasn't on purpose .

I didnt noe tt i would fall so deeply aslp .

I went to lie on the sofa at 9 something ,

then the moment i wakeup i realise is 1 something .

Omg .

So sorry .

I slp pretty well last nite ,

except tt i cry alot in my dreams .

I could feel tt i'm cryin out loud .

I'm struggling .

I remember something like i'm crying out to Jong or who .

I think i'm beggin him to bring me away .

Sad to say .

I wish i could leave SG .

Though lots of love , fun and care .

Somehow or wat i chose to leave if i can .

I cry so hard .

I cry till pain .

I promise not to think of love .

It ain't easy ,

times i feel like meeting bull ,

tellin him how much i love him and need him .

But i didn't .

I told myself i shouldn't .

Love is damn shit la .

Nthin gd , onli pain .

Didn't go out today ,

was suppose to meet wy in the mornin but in the end drag till sian dun wanna go le .

Haha .. veri lazy .

Juz feel like sitting infront of the com onli .

Jong Jong - pls make me urs la .

Leen .
1:24 PM

Yeah i slp alot ytd.

Leen .
6:50 AM

Super freak out .

Ytd was like the worst day of my life .

I rather i'm drunk .

Not gettin drunk enough ,

yet my head spins and my gastric hurts like wat .

Omg .

Mayb if i'm drunk i wun feel all this .

Its juz too painful .

I felt like i almost die .

I almost cry my lungs out too .

Its like me and wy were cryin together .

Gosh . i'm so touched .

I found a fren hu laugh and cry together wit me .

I'm lucky , i bet without poon and wy moral support i did die .

Its too painful , juz so unbearable .

I throw out all my emo and everything .

I can't give a damn le .

Juz have to cry out loud .

At least it makes me feel better in a way la .

We went to eat at a hk cafe at katong then cab home .

Then cab to wy house and walk to ecp together .

Then walked back from ecp to home .

Omg .

I over wrk lo.

I came home body damn numb .

Can't slp no matter wat i do .

Damn fed up .

Talk to jong .

I wish Jong could settle his wrk soon la .

Pls bring me to taiwan .

Even though i may not love u ,

i may not be ur gf .

But feelings can develop .

I promise i will make myself love u deeply if u bring me wit u .

U told me u like me .

Wth , i nv knew it .

I always tot tt u like my fren .

And ya , me and bull its over .

It's all in the past le .

So dun bring it up la .

And pls .

So wat if bull had my everything .

COme on we've been together for 2 yrs le .

I nv even knew bout ur feeling s.

Y should u have my everything .

Ass la .

U nv knew how terrible i felt .

Be it physical and emotional .

Both juz hurts .

I couldn't slp lo .

Was like wth ,

for almost to 24 hrs i nv slp lo .

I think i dyin le la .

Tok to alan .

Try to help him out .

I mean its like i noe how much he love poon .

And obviously i love poon to be happy .

I wouldn't want her to be hurt or wat .

I'm tryin to help u .

BUt theres always a limit la .

I can help u , but how far ??

the rest its up to u .

Its up to u to wrk hard .

Finally i slpt at 4 plus .

Then at 9 plus this alan call .

Omg .

Problem again .

I'm not findin him irritatin or wat la .

But i find him stupid la .

The matter was like damn small lo.

It can be settle easily lo .

Why make till everyone so unhappy ??

y muz make till poon shout , poon cry ??

Sometimes man ar stuipd ass la .

I feelin damn unwell la .

I wanted to get ricky no. lo.

This stupid derrek nv give me .

Idiot .

Forget it la .

I alreadi gave him mine .

Its up to him to contact me la .

But seriously his a nice chap .

I mean will any guy tt u onli met once tell u his dad name ??

Lolx .

Ytd poon went mos juz to slp lo .

She slpt at my cosy lap .

haha .

Then me and wy was like cryin when shes slpin .

Then this bartander came .

Then he wanted to help me throw my tissue ,

i say no .

I mean its like i blow my nose wit tt tissue ,

then i make ppl throw veri wat rite .

Then i think the bartander noe we cry ,

he went to take alot of tissue for us .

Lolx .

But it was heart warming la .

Wit my babes .

I'm so glad .

= I nv wanna get drunk anymore =

Leen .
10:59 PM

K . I'm back .

I went joggin myself .

Today didnt run as much as ytd .

Run half way leg cramp .

Almost die .

Lucky stil manage to walk home .

Bored .

I've nthin to do .

Gotta rest well later .

Prepare for tonight .

Its CLubbin time !!

Yeah .

Leen .
6:56 AM

Hmm .. Got ps-ed by wy .

But i will still go joggin even without her .

Actually i wana call poon to go along .

But then i dun wish to disturb her rest la .

Mayb saturday mornin bahz .

I cannot be so selfish.

Veri bored la .

Slp too early le .

Now alreadi wake up.

Got nthin better to do .

Sian .

Goin joggin soon .

Then at nite see ya babes at dbl o .

Leen .
5:27 AM

I'm so proud of myself .

I went joggin today .

Kinda retarted la .

6 am in the mornin ,

joggin at staduim .

Actually i'm tryin to train myself to have determination and discpline.

When i'm runnin ,

though i'm dead tired ,

but i would tell myself i could do it .

I muz do .

I would rather wrk hard , feel tired now .

Then forever .

Be it i run fast or slow ,

wat matter is at least i ran .

I try my best .

Rather than tellin myself ,

i cant do it la .

I will die la ,

i'm slow la .

Wat so ever shit .

It all shit excuses .

I went online tt day ,

happen to see a puppy .

I reali like .

But too bad ,

its not in sg .

Though its not ex ,

bout less than $200 .

U could get it ship here .

But the thing is ,

now i'm not wrkin .

I got no income to take care of my puppy .

Wat if my puppy fall sick ,

and where will the food money come from .

Groomin money .

Havin a pet , its not easy .

U not onli the heart ,

U need the $$$ too .

I wish i could have the puppy .

Though mummy wans to buy for me .

BUt i should reali think bout it .

My first aim now is not overcome any emo ,

and wrk reali hard .

Dun be afraid .

Dun be shy .

Wrk is for $$$ ,

dun give a damn bout others .

Once i wrk hard enough ,

wit stable income and etc.

I will get tt puppy .

It'll be mine one day .

I wanna a companion .

Pls be mine .

I'll love u so .

Leen .
5:52 PM

Didnt reali slp last nite .

Slpt at bout 9 plus in the morning and wake up bout 12 plus .

I was watchin youtube the whole nite .

And play the new game tt i've downloaded .

Then wake up bout 12 plus had my first meal ,

then prepare for tonight dinner .

I make fried wanton .

Keke . VEri nice k .

Then paint the whole .

Hmm ..

I'm not a bad painter .

I did quite a great job .

Then cook dinner .

Eat , wash up .

Then slp at bout 10 .

Woke up at bout 2 plus .

Then couldn't slp le .

Mayb i shall look for job bahx .

Shall not waste anymore time le .

Today wy went mia .

Duno wat she do oso .

Miss her alot la .

Sian .

Poon oso mia sia .

Sian .

Hmm ..

Shall continue watchin youtube .

轉角*遇到愛 .

bye ..

Leen .
5:25 AM

Thks .

I'm so glad .

At least theres someone tt loves me .

Kaka .

Hopefully can see wy asap again .

Later in the mornin gotta paint the wall .

Hmm ..

lazy but no choice .

Have to do .

Ya . i muz tell myself this ,

lazy but still have to go wrk .

Tired but still have to go wrk .

I muz wrk hard earn money .

I wanna be independant .

I was playin the apprentice juz now .

I managed to go throw all the rounds.

I'm hired by tt fake ronald truimph .

If in reality he relai hires me .

Then tts great .

I wish i'm as gd as how i am in the game .

Haix..

Poon's result coming out soon .

All the best to her .

SEe ya at dbo on thur .

Leen .
4:21 AM

hey hey .

finally can blog le .

Yeah .

This few days blogger have been giving me lots of trouble .

Finally .

Went clubbin last wed .

Went cyclin ytd .

KAka !!

Super fun and exhausting .

Keke .

Means extra calories burn .

I'm not vain.

I'm health consious .

Ya .

I noe . LIKE REAL .

Haha .

Juz acting la .

But reali happy ,

cuz i spent more than 12 hrs wit wy .

Anyway wy , thks alot for ur breakfast and last nite mac .

All my bloody ass emo gone away when i was wit my babes.

But then it doesn't reali went off all la .

Emo takes time to heal .

I juz hope i got fast antidote .

Sometimes i wish i'm wy ,

she pretty , sexy , blur , funny , smart , rich , nice , cant be bother .

Unlike me , fat , ugly , not funny , loud , too smart , poor , bother too much .

Wth .

I feel rather inferior bout my looks and size .

I juz hope when i walk pass ppl wun even see me .

I juz hate myself for who i'm .

I love my bf alot alot .

I can say i feel in love wit him.

But i noe theres no future .

Plus we couldn't reali get along .

And his not wrkin hard enough .

It's tough to leave him .

I tryin my veri best not to think off him .

It aint easy .

I juz wish to get reali busy ,

so tt i wun remember him .

I wun shed a tear for him .

I noe i'm in pain .

But i nv dare to yell .

I nv struggle .

I would juz sit at the corner and act as if nthin happens .

I noe i've noe discpline ,

i noe i own poon alot of money .

I feel reali embarrassed bout tt .

But i dun understand y cant i bring myself to go and get a job .

Or y can i at least prolong my wrk .

Y i always end up losin my job .

I ask myself y .

To tell u the truth ,

till today i nv get an ans .

I noe i'm not lazy ,

cuz during wrk ,

i believe i wrk the hardest .

But i'm not able to get up and take bus to wrk .

Y ??

I feelin so stress up .

My self -esteem ..

Wher ar u ??

Its gone .

I use to think tt gettin a job is freakin easy .

But now i realise its not .

I couldn't get any .

And i'm too embarrassed to go for any interview .

I feel reali ps .

I have no idea .

I dun own them anything or wat.

But i juz have no idea .

I have said so much bout myself .

I have think so much for myself .

But its still the me .

I've nv change .

I muz change .

I muz tell myself i can do it .

I muz make the first move .

Once i step out of the box ,

is sunshine .

Seriously i feel reali inferior bout my education .

I regretted bout my chilish past .

I noe its too late .

I wish to get a o level .

I wanna make it big one day being the gobal chef .

But y izzit tt my dreams often feels so far .

I'm too tired .

FOrget bout all this .

I brought it upon myself la .

Mummy always says tt..

She nv encourage me .

Leen .
11:46 AM

Leen .
3:02 AM

Gosh .

I finally meet poon and wy .

Yeah !!

So glad to see them .

Went over to look for s.t .

Kinda stuipd cuz we didn't have any patient to shop ard .

So we went to mos burger and sit there like for 2 hrs .

Juz to wait for s.t to finish wrk .

But it was fun la .

Tok alot , eat alot and laugh alot .

Then went over to s.t house .

ALot of unhappy things happy .

Dun reali wish to mention la .

Dun wanna think bout it .

Chat alot wit s.t la .

Hopefully s.t wouldn't disappoint me .

Hopefully she reali take me as her real fren la .

Dun make my instictin come true .

Wonders wats happen tml .

GOt some kinda bad feeling .

Juz hope tt things can be more pleasant.

I love poon and wy damn much .

Wanna hug and kiss them .

Cannot la .

WAit ppl misunderstood how ??

think alot la .

I own poon alot of money .

Feel seriously bad .

I make her wrk so bloody hard.

Then i nv wrk .

Wat kind of fren am i ??

Shouldn't i share her burden .

Reali sad and disappointed in myself .

I duno y i so lack of discpline .

I couldn't be like poon .

I should slap myself real hard and awake .

Its time i should wrk hard .

I have enjoy tooo much .

Way tooo much .

I've let too many ppl down .

I should give myself an aim.

I muz break up wit bull .

And wrk reali hard .

I muz save till at least 1000 dollars .

SGD money , then i can patch wit bull if i still love him .

I seriously have to let go le .

It's been draggin me too much .

If i still carry on i could have drown .

SO its time i catch the float and let him off .

ANd its time for heart ache .

And time for me to change .

Leen .
6:44 AM

Kinda happy mood today .

Suppose to go O bar ,

but i find it reali lucky not goin there .

It feels so great having to see my pri besties .

ANdy !!

I noe him for like almost ten yr .

I think should be ,

from chinese class to class mates .

His not a hunk but a macho man .

I love him to bits .

Keke .

Too bad la ,

andy a tiny chap .

I wish for a big chap .

Feels reali great , almost got drunk .

Lolx juz alittle bit more to collapse .

I drank too much le la ,

from beer to vodka craneberry ,

then to red ice ,

then vodka redbull .

Worst ,

the vodka red bull tt poon bought was like suppose to share wit ah boi and berline ,

i'm not reali sure how her name should be spell la .

But watever ,

end up i finish the whole jar .

GOsh .

I got headache now .

Today R& B at main was extreme loud .

Crazy .

My ear drums gonna die off la !!

Went home at bout 4 plus when mos close .

Walk over to liang court to buy drinks then saw andy again .

So cab home together .

Chatted along the way la .

REali likes him .

Nthin feels better than someone u reali noe .

Ya ..

Tt's bout it today .

Mostly saturday gonna go career fare then mayb meet babes after tt la .

Hopefully can la .

Cuz sunday is watever yuan xiao day la .

Then have to be home .

Leen .
5:28 AM

Y Leen .
Y 18 .





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